Growing up

What is it? I am almost 30 now and what have I done to contribute to the society or city with which I inhabited for more than two decades, approximately 3. I am living with a girl who has been very supportive and has said the other day that she is moving out at the end of the lease. This is for the best I think. Even if we are still together it will be for the best. No one reads this blog and maybe it's for the better. I have not been able to DJ or make music to release my thoughts, emotions and or frustrations. Even when I go to the gym I feel better but it's still not the same. Still, I think I should hit the gym tonight. At any rate I met an old school friend. Yet we never spoke when we were in high school we just stared at each other yet she didn't know when I was looking and I didn't know when she was looking but we found each other last year. For the life of me and I don't know why but I feel so connected to her. Now she's beautiful to me but not model gorgeous u know? But she's beautiful to me. She's like a Jasmine. She makes me laugh and that's usually difficult. I mean right now in my life I like a lot of girls but I haven't traveled around the world to experience more women but maybe I'm just reduced to this. Women are the same all around technically but I don't believe that because there are many different rhythms out there. The one I thought I was going to marry died on me last year so things have been really strange. I have just been going through the motions like getting a job, securing that job, paying bills, trying to make money as an actor on the side, trying to save money so that I can start buying real estate, a drum machine. Sitting in a room of darkness thinking about all of these things is quite comforting but also frustrating at the same time. Realistically, how is that possible? Well, as I wise friend once said to me, anything is possible. I think I'm in love with two chicks possibly three but one is forbidden. Actually technically two are. One's my brown sugar, the other is my red head queen pin, and the last is my Jasmine flower. Please note that the song of the day is Silent Treatment by The Roots. So this is all very weird because I want to write a book about love and my life but I don't have a formula and nor do I want one. I have subscribed to about three blogs but only 2 have the real shit. This one and another. Maybe I should just publish a series of my blogs with all of my thoughts that might not be a bad idea.

I got the pit I wanted though. I had a crush on a girl in my building, actually two girls. One is a coc head and just too young for me now that I think about it, and the other is a mystery but has this cool dope nature about her that gets me nervous and turns me into the notorious shy guy that has been with me all my life. Every time I like a girl it shows. Unless I have liquor in my system I'm shier than Casper.

What to make of my life I do not know. I do know that I will make at least 10 hit songs through out my life time, I will give back to my brothers and sisters in Africa and hopefully meet Mandela before he passes on to heaven.

I'm getting hungry.